It’s certainly been an interesting theme lately, focusing on my path in life to film. For myself, it’s been really refreshing and inspiring to revisit these moments in my life. Seeing as how my past few posts have been about the moments in my life that lead me to want to become a filmmaker, it seems to beg the question:
“So, why do you actually like making movies?”
In many ways, this is a bit of a loaded question, as the answers to this can go in so many directions. So I guess I’ll just answer this with one focus in mind: What does it actually feel like when I’m making them?
To start, what I’ve come to realize is that truthfully, filmmaking never really stops for me. Yes, I’m not always physically on a set or writing or in an editing room, but what I’ve come to find true for myself is that I quite literally view everything through the lens of film. What I mean by this is that I constantly view the world through the lens of cinema and I’m constantly thinking in terms of scene and story. So when I’m looking at the world around me, whether ordinary or extraordinary, my eyes are always looking in terms of shots and perspective. And with every situation I’m in, I’m constantly thinking about it in terms of what kind of film it is and even reading the people around me in terms of character and motivation. As ridiculous as this may sound, it’s true. I can’t turn it off. There’s no way I could turn it off. It’s how I’ve functioned since childhood and it’s only deepened the more I’ve grown up.
So seeing as how the process never really ends for me, what’s it like when I’m actually making the dang thing!?
To make it very simple, when I am actually on set, creating, directing, that is when I am fully ALIVE. It is the one place where I lose all sense of time and space. I even lose some sense of appetite(not in a sick way, just in the way the distraction of food is far from my mind). Outside of my control, I enter a state where I am completely THERE. My focus fully becomes the set, the scene, the camera, the lights, the actors and worries and thoughts leave me. As I reflect on it now in writing this, I see how spiritual of a process that actually is. It’s God entering the room for me. And in this place, I become my complete self and just get lost in telling a story.
Even with the creative challenges that can arise on a set, it just becomes creative problem-solving for me. Something in me begins to rise to the challenge and it becomes like a really fun puzzle. I’m not even a math or puzzle person! But here, I can actually enjoy finding the answer. I’ve certainly had some experiences where problems were thrown at me, and I caved into them, but those were the moments where I learned the importance of sticking to my guns and not letting other people dictate what God and I were creating.
So my answer here is not a very technical one, but it is very honestly what filmmaking is for me. I also fall into these flows when I’m writing and editing as well. But creating on set is truly the most exciting for me. It’s quite literally watching the magic come to life, partaking in creation with God.
Hopefully this gives you a better glimpse into how I operate, but more importantly, I hope that this brings you great encouragement. Truth is, everything I described with how I feel making movies, we all have that. We’ve all been given something in life that we love and allows us to be fully alive and present. To those of you who know what that is, chase it. Chase it with all you have. And to those of you who don’t know what that thing is, it’s never too late. God’s always ready to reveal it to you and help you go after it.
Do what you love. Life’s too short for the world to not see how brilliant you are.
Below is a photo of me on set :)
Photo Credit: Florent Cornillac
Photo Edit: Matthew Freres